hip hop you're the love of my life.

i cried watching America's Best Dance Crew.
it was before anyone won, it didn't matter. it doesn't matter. (for the record, my boys won.. i am in love with you dominic.)

i'm still crying, because hip hop changed my life. dancing has always been a part of me, but hip hop took it to another level. fighting for respect, dancing to beats when the other girls in the dance department thought NOTHING of what i do, coaching dancers semester after semester trying to make them see your vision, not making cshock but wanting to go back SO BAD because you just want to learn more, dreaming of teaching and traveling and starting a dance company that shows HIP HOP, not the nullified presentational version, but something real..

and i'm not done! i'm still learning, still growing. but its like my dreams are so much more tangible tonight. to see dancers go after what they want, and love it so much and know they feel like i do.. to believe that as a woman you don't have to be second best, to love dance, to love this artform so much it nearly makes you cry when you think about it.

there's nothing like it.
i love you quest and beat freaks.


and i love you hip-hop
and i will never ever stop.

life is like..

First things first. I got accepted into Pratt Institute in Brooklyn!
If you don't know, now you know. Pratt is my first choice for graduate school studying Dance Therapy. I'm really thankful to God, because honestly if I wasn't going here, I wasn't sure I wanted to do grad school.. but, here I am, there I go. Watch me move.

Despite some real moments of panic and self doubt, I really am enjoying life right now:

Dancing? Check.
Compliments on my dancing from important people? Check.
Learning and doing well in classes? Check.
Good friends? Check.

Things are even up with my dance company right now, and if you know me this is a pretty big deal. Our new kids are amazing and crazy positive which is something we really need. I had more fun teaching last rehearsal than I've ever had, we just vibed and chilled and did good work. Leaving my babies in May will be hard, but I will be backing them just as hard as ever from BK. People say a lot of things, and do exponentially less: but at the end of the day I'm so proud of who we are.

I've been choreographing and dancing and doing work and even going out more. I have newly committed myself to going on in Baltimore.. people dance so.much.more. there. I need to go and wild out on the dance floor in my sneakers.

So things are good. I'm going to go enjoy the day!

the real world

So I'm a graduating senior.

A few more months and its the "grad school, pray school gives you housing, oh damn girl don't eat that you're trying to get hired by a dance company, did you pay your phone bill?, gym 3 times a week, chinatown bus to dc! see best friend!, oh don't forget dance class, damn i'm tired, but wait, life's good" - type of life for me.

I mean my life is kind of like that now but you get the idea.

Spent 2 fabulous hours at the gym today, which I shall repeat every MW and some Fridays. Dance class was already working me so I'm gonna be a fine little dish by the end of the semester. And I know I have the discipline and desire to upkeep it. After school I have to train and condition my self (as far as scheduling) for dance, but I know it can do it. I am finally starting to trust in the fact that I can achieve the things I want, and I can take advantage of the joys in life. Corny, I know.

"Love and work... work and love, that's all there is." - Sigmund Freud

Well about that love part.. I'm working on it.

masochist.

my body hurts.
but first-day-of-class-dance-my-ass-off pain feels so gooood.






ever had a day when words just don't suffice anymore?
i'm trying to turn it into exploration.
i'll keep you posted with the progress.
artists of any kind are often irreparably emotive and scarily analytical, i guess making it tangible is how we pay the bills.