Sunday, September 28, 2008

i am not my hair?

So lately (the past few months or so?) I've been thinking about growing out my hair. It seems to be a thing these days, you know, overcoming "socially imposed racial brainwashing" and all. I really don't know anyone who has, except for my friend H, whom has delicious looking hair and cannot thusly be counted.

I began considering this option for a number of reasons:
1. I don't know what my natural hair looks like.
2. I've been newly involved in racial and feminist blogs, in which it has come up a lot.
3. I am completely obsessed with curly hair (ask anyone).
4. As a dancer, it would be a lot nicer if my sweaty hair didn't look like broken strings. Or not to worry about it in the rain. I'm tired of caring about it getting "messed up". Why can't I just enjoy it?

On a positive note, I've come from a pretty lax family about hair. They wouldn't care if I grew it out, and my uncle relaxes my hair for me. Truth be told, our hair is pretty "good" by normal standards: my grandmother has the finest curly hair I've ever seen and my sisters have lush spirals as long as they are kept moisturized. As for my hair, its pretty wavy (as far as I can tell). Not too kinky but thick. So what's stopping me?

I do NOT want an afro.

The overwhelming fear of walking around with a thick indiscernible wavy afro is too much for me, I love my hair long and I love my options. Afros look good on other people, afros on me give me heart palpitations. I don't do short hair either. It's not about being too ethnic, its about my vanity.

Now of course my hair is going to be kind of afro-ish. But curly fro = good. Watch the glory of my hair inspiration Tanika Ray:

See? She's even posing with my man J. Boogie. If I knew my hair would grow to look like hers, I would vow today. It's long, its curly, its natural. Baby girl is bad.

But I don't know it. Any what about the judging? I am not neo-soul. I am all electro, baby. Could I even pull it off? I appreciate what India.Arie is singing about.. she's not her hair. But I'm slightly vain, completely nervous, and I'm not gonna lie. To some extent, I am.

I need advice, otherwise I will be scheduling another appointment for that "creamy crack".


poison.ivy said...

i'm a vain bitch...this i know

i grew my hair out last year. i cut it last august. my hair has never been so healthy

its not about the type of hair you have....its the acceptance within yourself of yourself. be happy for the hair texture YOU have.
its no need to go natural and keep flat ironing it. its just going to damage your hair more.
make the decision if you want to be free of the creamy crack and let you dictate you...not your hair.
don't worry about being to 'ethnic' or neo soul...going natural is about self-acceptance.

do some more research before you decide
email me if you need some advice about going natural

hb said...

LMAO! Something you said made me laugh really hard.
And the picture.. lol wow, where did you get the fro from?

I cut my hair super short because 1- i wanted a drastic change & 2- i didn't know what my hair looked like natural...(& there were 2 different textures on my head and it was bothering me).

do whatever makes you happy and makes you go "damn, i look good!" when you look in the mirror.
also, if you do decide to go natural... and cut it or whatever you do to do so... there's always going to be that awkward growing phase (which i feel like i'm in right now)

ok i lost my point...

hb said...

KESH is my hair inspiration!

Mista Jaycee said...

Just stoppin by but check Funke Blak Chiks blog post on natural hair and natural ways to save money on hair care products. I gave it to my wife and daughter.
PS Fall in love with your hair and more importantly yourself!

Former Mushroom-Haired Child said...

I totally understand your worries about getting to know your natural hair. It can be scary at first, especially when we don't know what to do with it.

Also, for too long we with curly hair have been (mis)lead to believe that very curly hair can't grow long. That's not true. It's just that we have been taught our whole lives damaging ways to care for our hair, which makes it break off. Once we learn to stop hurting it, our hair grows really long.

Using chemicals, I had crunchy broken hair that fell apart at my shoulders. When I went natural, and learned how to care for my hair, it grew. My hair is now natural, curly, and down to my hips. Having very long natural hair can be done.

It's wonderful that you are thinking about taking the leap. Natural hair is a gift we give to ourselves.

Oh, and I love that you write in Spanish! I'm trying very hard to learn it, and it will be fun reading your poems in Spanish. A big incentive.

PhlyyGirl said...

I feel your pain, cause it's hard as hell to go natural. I had to make the change when I went to college cause the same lady had been perming my hair for 12 years and she couldn't come to school with me. Honestly, I love my hair now that it's natural though.
I can straighten it out with the flat iron and it looks like I got a perm (which is probably not good, but hey I can't give up blowing in the wind completely) but when I just wash and go, it's a beautiful thing too. My hair is what you would call typical negro hair in that I can get a fro really easily, but I love being able to have the variety in my hair.
that and it cut down on my salon trips which saved me money and you know we are in a recession!

vogue la reina. said...

I wish I could respond seperately but thanks so much for the positive comments everyone, I am definitely considering!