So lately (the past few months or so?) I've been thinking about growing out my hair. It seems to be a thing these days, you know, overcoming "socially imposed racial brainwashing" and all. I really don't know anyone who has, except for my friend H, whom has delicious looking hair and cannot thusly be counted.
I began considering this option for a number of reasons:
1. I don't know what my natural hair looks like.
2. I've been newly involved in racial and feminist blogs, in which it has come up a lot.
3. I am completely obsessed with curly hair (ask anyone).
4. As a dancer, it would be a lot nicer if my sweaty hair didn't look like broken strings. Or not to worry about it in the rain. I'm tired of caring about it getting "messed up". Why can't I just enjoy it?
On a positive note, I've come from a pretty lax family about hair. They wouldn't care if I grew it out, and my uncle relaxes my hair for me. Truth be told, our hair is pretty "good" by normal standards: my grandmother has the finest curly hair I've ever seen and my sisters have lush spirals as long as they are kept moisturized. As for my hair, its pretty wavy (as far as I can tell). Not too kinky but thick. So what's stopping me?
I do NOT want an afro.
The overwhelming fear of walking around with a thick indiscernible wavy afro is too much for me, I love my hair long and I love my options. Afros look good on other people, afros on me give me heart palpitations. I don't do short hair either. It's not about being too ethnic, its about my vanity.
Now of course my hair is going to be kind of afro-ish. But curly fro = good. Watch the glory of my hair inspiration Tanika Ray:
See? She's even posing with my man J. Boogie. If I knew my hair would grow to look like hers, I would vow today. It's long, its curly, its natural. Baby girl is bad.
But I don't know it. Any what about the judging? I am not neo-soul. I am all electro, baby. Could I even pull it off? I appreciate what India.Arie is singing about.. she's not her hair. But I'm slightly vain, completely nervous, and I'm not gonna lie. To some extent, I am.
I need advice, otherwise I will be scheduling another appointment for that "creamy crack".